CANDICE TAMARA
Ready to say goodbye to breadcrumbs & attract the whole f*CKING loaf?
Just imagine...
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Picking healthy, loving & emotionally available partners that can meet your needs, make you feel safe & can give you that happy ever after that you have been dreaming of
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Feeling so self-assured no more watching your phone waiting for their text & overthinking every interaction wondering if they are losing interest & will leave you
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Able to focus on other areas of your life with healthy boundaries, you don't need their constant contact as reassurance to soothe your anxiety, you'd prefer quality dates instead where you can observe overtime if this person can meet your needs, no more breadcrumbs
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Feeling safe within yourself as you have deep self-trust, able to be yourself, validate you, put your needs first & input boundaries without guilt and walk away if needed
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No longer feeling ‘needy’ as you fill up your own cup & make you happy so you can just enjoy what the other person has to give without expectations & pressure, no more keeping yourself available only to be disappointed when they have other plans
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Feeling confident to communicate your needs… wait no, first, knowing what your needs are & then being able to communicate your needs without it turning into a conflict...no more walking on eggshells
Right now you are..
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You are an overachiever, that has worked so hard to achieve so much but doesn’t feel like you're enough, often seen as the 'strong' one by others, your self-critical, put everyone first before you & you change yourself to please others
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You attract partners that are emotionally unavailable & unable to meet your needs, perhaps things are good at first but then they pull away when you get close. You get very anxious when they pull away, chasing after them, asking them what you did & working harder for their attention
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You over-attach very quickly to new partners, ignoring red flags as they make you feel good and giving them all your attention as you think they are the ONE, without them having to prove anything
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You are unsure of what your needs are or how to make you happy so you are putting that pressure on the other person in your relationships, perhaps they say you are too 'needy' or 'clingy'
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You overthink every interaction looking for signs their losing interest or leaving you. You're attached to your phone waiting for them to message on high alert. You need constant reassurance or nitpick fights to get it.
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You feel rejected when they are unavailable or online not messaging you, you expect them to spend all their time & focus on you. When you like someone, you give up your interests to be with them & keep yourself very available for them, even cancelling plans with friends.
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You put up with shitty behaviour that doesn’t make you feel good but you aren’t able to communicate clear boundaries & stick to them. You struggle to walk away even when you know you should, infact, begging them to stay
Emma's story...
Before Emma came to me, she was single & anxious in her relationships. She was attracting emotionally unavailable partners & working hard to impress them. She over-attached early to new partners & people pleased
Whilst working together, we worked on healing the root cause of her anxiety, building self-trust, learning to meet her needs & setting boundaries without guilt.
I encouraged her to date to practice not over-attaching which she did successfully, we worked on breaking her patterns of picking partners that couldn't meet her needs & then she met a healthy partner that was emotionally available.
She continued to keep meeting her needs throughout the relationship, keeping her identity & being herself. When she experienced anxiety/triggers, she was able to work through them without sabotaging the relationship & was also able to communicate her needs clearly without conflict because she had found safety in herself.
You can listen to more about this directly from Emma, on my Podcast F*CK Trauma
Hey, i'm candice
A Trauma & mindset coach, dedicated to guiding you to having healthy relationships with yourself & others.
I specialise in attachment trauma, anxious attachment style in particular.
Why? because I was anxiously attached too.
I had a deep fear of abandonment from childhood & even though I knew I had experienced a lot of trauma as a child, I had no idea about attachment styles.
It's wild how little information & support is out there on them, you could be in therapy for years & they wouldn't even mention them. Yet, they are literally the exact reason we struggle to have healthy relationships with ourselves & others.
For years, I stayed in toxic relationships, clinging hold of them because I now know, my abandonment wound was so triggered. I attracted partners that couldn't meet my needs, but I begged, pleaded & worked hard to try to make it work. Losing myself at the same time. I sabotaged relationships with needy behaviour, putting all my focus on them as I had no idea how to make me happy. I had no idea what a boundary was so kept myself super available & that meant also putting up with shitty behaviour. I was riddled with anxiety & anxious thoughts, overthinking every interaction, waiting by my phone for their text & needing constant reassurance.
Honestly, I thought I was crazy!!
This was all before I knew it was coming from my trauma & abandonment wound. Once I knew I was anxiously attached, I was able to work on healing my abandonment wound, changing my patterns & reprogramming my mind & nervous system to attract & receive healthy love without anxiety.
I built my self-trust & now I'm a secure attachment style, able to have healthy attachments that make me feel safe & good. And better yet, I make myself feel safe, I honour my needs first & I no longer accept anything that doesn't bring me value as I now know my worth.
And best of all, I get to guide my clients to finding safety in themselves so that they can have the healthy, loving relationships they deserve. I get long lasting transformational results for my clients because I am in your head with you as I have literally been there, I know exactly how you feel & I also know the path to get you out.
This is for you if...
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You are single/in a situationship & would like to find a healthy partner that can commit & wants to meet your needs, but you attract partners that can't meet your needs & treat you how you deserve. You over-attach early, ignore red flags but put all your eggs in their basket, get very preoccupied with them easily without much effort on their part, only for them to pull away leaving you anxious, wondering what you did.
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You know you have an anxious attachment style /abandonment wound & are ready to work on healing it so that you can attract healthy, loving relationships you deserve
Ready to attract the safe, loving relationships that you deserve?
introducing
break the dating cycle
A LIVE 8 week program to heal inner wounds & break the cycle of attracting emotionally unavailable partners
Using my signature method that has guided so many to breaking this cycle!
BREAK THE dating CYCLE KICKS OFF May 1st 2023
PROGRAM OUTLINE
> week 1: Clarity- Gain clarity on where you are currently, where you really want to be without the fear & what is holding you back.
> week 2: Connection- Connect with yourself to get to know who you really are, without others opinions, who you are at your core, your values, passions, qualities
> Week 3: COMPASSION- Going deep into recognising what the root cause of your anxiety is so that we can begin the healing process
> Week 4: ACCEPTANCE- Letting go of the stories you have told yourself & healing your wounds with inner child healing. Learning how to reassure & validate yourself.
> Week 5: YOUR CORE NEEDS-Identifying what your needs are & learning how to honour them, having a clear roadmap of action steps to do this
> WEEK 6: YOUR NEEDS IN RELATIONSHIPS- Identify what you need from others, working on breaking the pattern of over-attaching early & attracting unavailable partners.
> WEEK 7: RED FLAGS-Leaning about red flags & your non-negotiables going forward... say bye to breadcrumbs
> WEEK 8: DATING BOUNDARIES-
Creating your dating boundaries to ensure you aren't getting attached to partners that can't meet your needs & are only entertaining the ones that can give you the whole f*cking loaf!
what's included
> 8 MODULES - your own worksheets to work through with recorded video guidance from Candice
> 4 LIVE Q&A/Guidance sessionswith Candice throughout the program
> Custom tools & techniquesfor your healing including inner child healing
> Group voxer chatat your fingertips for daily voicenote & text support
Meet Claire
How Claire went from feeling lost & begging for bare minimum attention from others to feeling secure & recognising her value in self
I can establish boundaries, and I no longer base my self worth on the opinions of others. I know I am not asking for too much, and the right person will understand that, and stay. I feel comfortable being me.
"Before the Anxious to Secure in Love group program, I was so lost on who I was as a person. My entire value was defined by if I was in a relationship.I found myself begging for the attention of my potential partners, sending paragraphs, and clinging to the smallest bit of effort because i thought it was all I deserved. I had no boundaries; no idea what I wanted in an ideal partner, and wasn't exhibiting ideal partner behaviour on my end. I was anxious, needy, and spiraling.
Now, after the program I feel like a completely different person. I am now so in tune with myself, my needs, my feelings, and what I want out of my romantic and platonic relationships. I can establish boundaries, and I no longer base my self worth on the opinions of others. I know I am not asking for too much, and the right person will understand that, and stay. I feel comfortable being me.
I would say to anyone on the fence..100% do it!! it's life changing. I had never once DONE the work. I always knew I needed to "Do the work" but I had NO clue what that entailed or where to start. Candice's program helped me to truly love myself, an in turn, learn what I deserve. I also learned ;so much about communicating boundaries, how to navigate family relationships, and, was given the tools to cope when I am triggered. Candice is amazing and worth every penny!"
- Claire
The image is not an accurate photo of my client to protect my client's identity due to the sensitive nature of my work
My love, you have two options..
Continue going at it alone & try to break your patterns yourself over time with painful lessons, & in the meantime attracting & getting attached to partners that can't meet your needs & give you your happy ever after... and we both know how hard it is to walk away
OR
Try a tried & tested method that actually works to guide you to feeling more secure in yourself & in dating in a short amount of time, healing the inner wounds attracting these partners & reprogramming the patterns so that you can attract a healthy partner that can give you the relationship you deserve!
Meet Ania
How Ania went from being anxiously attached to situation ships to finding her peace
I feel like I really gained myself back through this program, and am so incredibly glad I took the leap and signed up. It’s given me peace again.
"When I started the Anxious to Secure in Love group program I was on the heels of a major let down of a situation ship, reeling with anxiety, confused about where I had gone wrong, and with very little self compassion. I was easily swooned by empty words, and attention, and feeling like I would really take anything I could get for attention. From friends and love interests.
Now after the program, I feel so grounded in myself, who I am, and how normal my desires really are. I feel comfortable asking questions while getting to know someone without the anxiety or emotional charge, I don’t feel the need to explain myself or send long messages conveying my hurt or frustrations, and it feels soooo much easier to walk away from a situation that isn’t good for me. I also just feel more grounded in my day to day life, which has impacted how I make decisions overall. I don’t feel panicked or anxious like I was feeling a lot last year. I also don’t feel pushy about getting my needs met, I feel more comfortable communicating them, and asking if that’s something they can do. Instead of just leaving it alone and hoping for the best, I can ask and find out and decide what I will do with that information.
I really stumbled upon Candice's program and wasn’t sure what to expect, I was skeptical. I feel like I really gained myself back through it, and am so incredibly glad I took the leap and signed up. It’s given me peace again."
- Ania
The image is not an accurate photo of my client to protect my client's identity due to the sensitive nature of my work
YOUR INVESTMENT IN YOU
Paid in Full
£666
Payment Plans
3 months x £236pm
6 months x £125pm
12 months x £66pm
EARLY BIRD PRICE
Meet Andreea
How Andreea went from being anxiously attached to a situationship, excusing their poor behaviour to feeling confident & secure in self & dating
Everyone close to me has remarked just how much I've changed and internally I feel it even more strongly. Truly, it's been a life changing process that I will always be grateful for.
"Before I started working with Candice, I was going through a "situationship". The guy had told me from the beginning that he had just come out of a long term relationship recently and that he didn't have the capacity to get involved in a new one yet. He had also recently lost his father and was overwhelmed at work. I was in a much better place and convinced myself that I didn't care about a label on a relationship as long as I got along well with the person. And while that might be true, I allowed myself to use his situation as a justification for his increasingly poor behaviour. He was very avoidantly attached - would not reply for weeks at a time, would gaslight me into believing I was crazy, would have me walk on eggshells and have an emotional meltdown if he got triggered, which happened almost every time we met. His behaviour triggered my anxious attachment to a level I had not experienced before. I pride myself in being very calm and logical, but I would find myself obsessing over the texts I wasn't receiving from him. That's what pushed me to seek a deeper understanding of what was actually going on and lead me to finding Candice.
She helped me understand that a lot of the behaviours I was exhibiting as an adult (people pleasing, not setting boundaries, appeasing, finding excuses for other people's poor behaviour) actually come from unhealed childhood wounds that we identified together. Finding the source and identifying the patterns I was exhibiting helped me in ways I never even thought would be related - it completely transformed my relationship with my family members and helped me understand them better, it improved my career by addressing the occasional imposter syndrome and of course vastly improved my dating life by helping me identify red flags early on and making my needs and expectations a priority.
I don't think I could recommend working with Candice enough, I think it's single handedly the best investment I've ever made in myself. For anyone who's gone through therapy or learnt about attachment styles, it's easy to make a distinction between life before and after the revelation. Everyone close to me has remarked just how much I've changed and internally I feel it even more strongly. Truly, it's been a life changing process that I will always be grateful for."
- Andreea
The image is not an accurate photo of my client to protect my client's identity due to the sensitive nature of my work
Meet Jess
How jess went from her ex calling her needy to feeling self-assured & attracting a healthy relationship
The calmness and security I have in my relationships and myself is invaluable. You can’t put a dollar amount on it. I’m so glad I committed myself to this program.ed & calmer about this, in a better mood, seeing how little things can make an impact.
"Before working with Candice, I had been on dating apps for a couple years with very little success. I knew from 2 years of therapy that I had a pretty bad anxious attachment style but I still always found a reason to blame the guy for why it didn’t work out. I didn't realize it at the time but it was a coping skill to make sure I never had to focus inward on my contributions of why it wasn’t working.
I would classify myself as hyper independent and very successful in my career. When evaluating my life, I realized everything I had control over, meaning I didn’t need to rely on anyone else, I was doing very well at. But any place in life where I had to be vulnerable, rely on others and build relationships with them, I was struggling.
The final straw for me to sign up for your program was receiving feedback from someone I dated and still really care about. We went to dinner about 4 months after ending things and he shared that he felt like I needed a lot of reassurance in our relationship and I was always pushing him for more. He said he never felt like he could do enough to make me happy. That same week, I saw a TikTok of Candice that spoke to me and I reached out for a 15 minute video chat.
The most tangible thing I experienced while working with Candice was healing my relationship with my dad. We had a pretty strained relationship for a lot of years and I knew it was impacting my attachment style. It was surface level and we typically only discussed my career. I realized I felt like I had to perform to get his attention. We had some tough conversations while in this program and today we talk almost every day. He makes an effort to come stay with me, we spend more 1x1 time together and I don’t even remember the last time we talked about my career.
The other theme that came up a lot when working together was my confidence and how much I struggled with my appearance. Most of the time I didn't even believe the men I was dating found me attractive. We started in childhood and uncovered memories I had of many people commenting on my weight, including family members. Through working together I not only set firmer boundaries with those family members, who were still impacting my confidence, but I also took better care of my health and lost 40 lbs while we were working together.
The most intangible thing I’m experiencing now that we’re at the end of the program is the calmness and security I have in myself. I keep referring to it as my “soft girl era”. I used to always be focused on my salary and promotions, working for what number I wanted on my next offer letter. I now care about doing a good job and enjoying my day but I make sure I log out at 5pm. I’ve found more time to support and care for those around me. I’ve fallen in love with skincare, cooking for others and looking for other ways to take care of myself. I’m almost 33 so in the past I’ve put a lot of pressure on myself to hurry up and find a husband. Now, I enjoy my own company and don’t have much interest in dating at the moment.
It was so easy to open up to Candice and get to the root of the issues I was experiencing. I remember at one point saying to you, "how are we going to fix all of these life-long challenges in just a few weeks?" Candice reassured me that once they’re identified, I'd be amazed at how fast we can work through it and she was right. I really didn’t think I’d be as far as long as I am after just 8 sessions.
One thing that kept me on the fence for a while was the financial investment, and that’s what you have to look at as, an investment. The calmness and security I have in my relationships and myself is invaluable. You can’t put a dollar amount on it. I’m so glad I committed myself to this program.
There’s not a day goes by that I don’t thank myself for making that first appointment and deciding to work with Candice.
I also think it's important for anyone deciding to do this program to understand that it’s unrealistic to be “100% healed” and think you’ll never feel anxious in relationships again. There are many days I still have to check in myself because I feel anxious about something. But I’m able to see it for what it is now and I challenge my thought process. I now have tools to recenter myself, check in my inner child and I come back to a neutral and secure place."
- Jess
The image is not an accurate photo of my client to protect my client's identity due to the sensitive nature of my work