CANDICE TAMARA
Meet EMMA
How Emma went from anxiously people pleasing in relationships to confidently pleasing self & creating healthy relationships with less anxiety
After years of therapy, I found myself understanding my habits/
thoughts/behaviours and not really knowing what to do about them. I couldn't believe how many changes I made in just 3 months of working with Candice
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What challenges were you experiencing before working with Candice?
Lacking confidence in myself. I was in a cycle of people-pleasing and not feeling as though I could show up as my true self out of fear. I noticed the same patterns occurring over and over again in relationships and knew I wasn't dealing with the root of the problem (me!). I noticed my relationship with myself was starting to filter through to all elements of my life and wasn't sure how to change it alone.
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What were some of the results that you experienced whilst/after working with Candice?
Actually being able to confidently set boundaries and say what is/isn't working for me. Considering what feels good for me first instead of always jumping to what I think others will want me to say/do. Being much kinder to myself and honouring my needs. Feeling much more confident in myself and able to face challenges with far less fear. My relationship with dating improved so much. I am able to see when something doesn't serve me and feel far less attached to the outcome of walking away if it doesn't. I'm communicating my needs more confidently and trusting that the right person will honour that.
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I would never have believed I could make some of these changes... and in such a short space of time too.
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How did you find working with Candice?
I LOVED how actionable working with Candice has been. After years of therapy, I found myself understanding my habits/thoughts/behaviours and not really knowing what to do about them. I couldn't believe how many changes I made in just 3 months of working with Candice. I know I made a lot of progress in therapy, but it never really felt like it. Working with Candice built my confidence so much because I could actually see how I was transforming my day-to-day life. Such a huge difference from start to finish... and definitely all things I can take through with me in life.
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What would you say to anyone thinking about working with Candice but may be on the fence?
I know it's hard to invest in and prioritise yourself... but it is literally a catalyst to changing every inch of your life. You will walk away knowing yourself better than ever before and confident in how to actually make a change.
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I think that usually when I invest, the result tends to be money returned! It often feels a lot harder to just invest in yourself. I heard things like "you shouldn't spend that much on you" and "do you even need that?". But I just had this deeper sense that those niggling struggles were holding me back and I couldn't step forward without addressing them. I asked myself "what if you don't?" and the answer was that I stayed in the same place feeling stuck. As soon as I invested I felt empowered and knew that it was totally necessary.
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- Emma
Emma was interviewed about her experience on my F*CK TRAUMA podcast, episode 1
Meet FULVIA
How Fulvia went from self-abandonment to self-love & healthy relationships with less anxiety after narcissistic abuse
The more I learnt from Candice, the more understanding I had of these behavioural patterns and this knowledge has been really invaluable for me. I have started to put myself and my needs first, even when this has felt uncomfortable at times however, I have seen a big change in the way that I feel towards myself.
What challenges were you experiencing before working with Candice?
Prior to working with Candice I was experiencing a lot of anxiety, fear and people pleasing behaviour all from growing up with a narcissistic family member. Not being able to say no to others has been a huge problem and suppressing my own needs every day to please others. I was not putting myself first in life and this led me to not know who I really am and to ultimately be unhappy within myself. This behaviour has made me become extremely indecisive, playing a huge factor in my life causing stress and anxiety in my everyday life. I was experiencing self-sabotaging behaviour and my self-worth was at its all-time low.
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What were some of the results that you experienced whilst/after working with Candice?
The first thing I noticed since working with Candice is that I had become so aware of my thoughts and behaviour patterns. The more I learnt from Candice, the more understanding I had of these behavioural patterns and this knowledge has been really invaluable for me. I have started to put myself and my needs first, even when this has felt uncomfortable at times however, I have seen a big change in the way that I feel towards myself.
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I have started to implement more self-care practices into my life and being more compassionate towards myself and my needs. I have implemented journaling into my daily routine, reframing negative self-talk, started making decisions for myself, not people pleasing, releasing guilt and fear which were holding me back and so much more.
Candice's guidance helped me so much to understand my triggers and behavioural responses and to ultimately be able to reframe my thoughts and change the way I could respond to certain situations.
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How did you find working with Candice?
I am really pleased I made the decision to work with Candice, even when initially I found the decision to work with Candice difficult because I had to put myself first which I’m not use to doing.I really enjoyed working with Candice, she is super friendly and passionate about her work and helping others. I felt that Candice really understood me because she has also experienced similar narcissistic behaviour, which made our sessions so much more relatable because Candice knows exactly how it feels and because of this she is able to help you work through these emotions and help to create a better mindset to be more empowering.
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Candice would also challenge me on certain subjects but I felt that this was needed in order to grow and develop my mindset. Candice is so knowledgeable and quick to understand how you may be feeling, which doesn’t make you feel alone during those moments in need.
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What would you say to anyone thinking about working with Candice but may be on the fence?
Candice is a great coach and her relatability makes it easy to work with her.
She has given me a lot of knowledge, awareness and understanding which I now use everyday.
It was my first experience working with a mindset coach and I would recommend Candice to anyone wanting to better their mindset and work through any trauma holding them back, it really is invaluable!
Candice is very inspirational and so knowledgeable within her field and she has been a great help in my self development journey so far.
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I feel that I have learnt so much from this programme and Candice has been a fantastic coach who I would love to work with again.
- Fulvia
The image is not an accurate photo of my client to protect my client's identity due to the sensitive nature of my work
Meet Andreea
How Andreea went from being anxiously attached to a situationship, excusing their poor behaviour to feeling confident & secure in self & dating
Everyone close to me has remarked just how much I've changed and internally I feel it even more strongly. Truly, it's been a life changing process that I will always be grateful for.
"Before I started working with Candice, I was going through a "situationship". The guy had told me from the beginning that he had just come out of a long term relationship recently and that he didn't have the capacity to get involved in a new one yet. He had also recently lost his father and was overwhelmed at work. I was in a much better place and convinced myself that I didn't care about a label on a relationship as long as I got along well with the person. And while that might be true, I allowed myself to use his situation as a justification for his increasingly poor behaviour. He was very avoidantly attached - would not reply for weeks at a time, would gaslight me into believing I was crazy, would have me walk on eggshells and have an emotional meltdown if he got triggered, which happened almost every time we met. His behaviour triggered my anxious attachment to a level I had not experienced before. I pride myself in being very calm and logical, but I would find myself obsessing over the texts I wasn't receiving from him. That's what pushed me to seek a deeper understanding of what was actually going on and lead me to finding Candice.
She helped me understand that a lot of the behaviours I was exhibiting as an adult (people pleasing, not setting boundaries, appeasing, finding excuses for other people's poor behaviour) actually come from unhealed childhood wounds that we identified together. Finding the source and identifying the patterns I was exhibiting helped me in ways I never even thought would be related - it completely transformed my relationship with my family members and helped me understand them better, it improved my career by addressing the occasional imposter syndrome and of course vastly improved my dating life by helping me identify red flags early on and making my needs and expectations a priority.
I don't think I could recommend working with Candice enough, I think it's single handedly the best investment I've ever made in myself. For anyone who's gone through therapy or learnt about attachment styles, it's easy to make a distinction between life before and after the revelation. Everyone close to me has remarked just how much I've changed and internally I feel it even more strongly. Truly, it's been a life changing process that I will always be grateful for."
- Andreea
The image is not an accurate photo of my client to protect my client's identity due to the sensitive nature of my work
Meet Jess
How jess went from her ex calling her needy to feeling confident & self-assured
The calmness and security I have in my relationships and myself is invaluable. You can’t put a dollar amount on it. I’m so glad I committed myself to this program.ed & calmer about this, in a better mood, seeing how little things can make an impact.
"Before working with Candice, I had been on dating apps for a couple years with very little success. I knew from 2 years of therapy that I had a pretty bad anxious attachment style but I still always found a reason to blame the guy for why it didn’t work out. I didn't realize it at the time but it was a coping skill to make sure I never had to focus inward on my contributions of why it wasn’t working.
I would classify myself as hyper independent and very successful in my career. When evaluating my life, I realized everything I had control over, meaning I didn’t need to rely on anyone else, I was doing very well at. But any place in life where I had to be vulnerable, rely on others and build relationships with them, I was struggling.
The final straw for me to sign up for your program was receiving feedback from someone I dated and still really care about. We went to dinner about 4 months after ending things and he shared that he felt like I needed a lot of reassurance in our relationship and I was always pushing him for more. He said he never felt like he could do enough to make me happy. That same week, I saw a TikTok of Candice that spoke to me and I reached out for a 15 minute video chat.
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The most tangible thing I experienced while working with Candice was healing my relationship with my dad. We had a pretty strained relationship for a lot of years and I knew it was impacting my attachment style. It was surface level and we typically only discussed my career. I realized I felt like I had to perform to get his attention. We had some tough conversations while in this program and today we talk almost every day. He makes an effort to come stay with me, we spend more 1x1 time together and I don’t even remember the last time we talked about my career.
The other theme that came up a lot when working together was my confidence and how much I struggled with my appearance. Most of the time I didn't even believe the men I was dating found me attractive. We started in childhood and uncovered memories I had of many people commenting on my weight, including family members. Through working together I not only set firmer boundaries with those family members, who were still impacting my confidence, but I also took better care of my health and lost 40 lbs while we were working together.
The most intangible thing I’m experiencing now that we’re at the end of the program is the calmness and security I have in myself. I keep referring to it as my “soft girl era”. I used to always be focused on my salary and promotions, working for what number I wanted on my next offer letter. I now care about doing a good job and enjoying my day but I make sure I log out at 5pm. I’ve found more time to support and care for those around me. I’ve fallen in love with skincare, cooking for others and looking for other ways to take care of myself. I’m almost 33 so in the past I’ve put a lot of pressure on myself to hurry up and find a husband. Now, I enjoy my own company and don’t have much interest in dating at the moment.
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It was so easy to open up to Candice and get to the root of the issues I was experiencing. I remember at one point saying to you, "how are we going to fix all of these life-long challenges in just a few weeks?" Candice reassured me that once they’re identified, I'd be amazed at how fast we can work through it and she was right. I really didn’t think I’d be as far as long as I am after just 8 sessions.
One thing that kept me on the fence for a while was the financial investment, and that’s what you have to look at as, an investment. The calmness and security I have in my relationships and myself is invaluable. You can’t put a dollar amount on it. I’m so glad I committed myself to this program.
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There’s not a day goes by that I don’t thank myself for making that first appointment and deciding to work with Candice.
I also think it's important for anyone deciding to do this program to understand that it’s unrealistic to be “100% healed” and think you’ll never feel anxious in relationships again. There are many days I still have to check in myself because I feel anxious about something. But I’m able to see it for what it is now and I challenge my thought process. I now have tools to recenter myself, check in my inner child and I come back to a neutral and secure place."
- Jess
The image is not an accurate photo of my client to protect my client's identity due to the sensitive nature of my work
Meet Claire
How Claire went from feeling lost & begging for bare minimum attention from others to feeling secure & recognising her value in self
I can establish boundaries, and I no longer base my self worth on the opinions of others. I know I am not asking for too much, and the right person will understand that, and stay. I feel comfortable being me.
"Before the Anxious to Secure in Love group program, I was so lost on who I was as a person. My entire value was defined by if I was in a relationship.I found myself begging for the attention of my potential partners, sending paragraphs, and clinging to the smallest bit of effort because i thought it was all I deserved. I had no boundaries; no idea what I wanted in an ideal partner, and wasn't exhibiting ideal partner behaviour on my end. I was anxious, needy, and spiraling.
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Now, after the program I feel like a completely different person. I am now so in tune with myself, my needs, my feelings, and what I want out of my romantic and platonic relationships. I can establish boundaries, and I no longer base my self worth on the opinions of others. I know I am not asking for too much, and the right person will understand that, and stay. I feel comfortable being me.
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I would say to anyone on the fence..100% do it!! it's life changing. I had never once DONE the work. I always knew I needed to "Do the work" but I had NO clue what that entailed or where to start. Candice's program helped me to truly love myself, an in turn, learn what I deserve. I also learned ;so much about communicating boundaries, how to navigate family relationships, and, was given the tools to cope when I am triggered. Candice is amazing and worth every penny!"
- Claire
The image is not an accurate photo of my client to protect my client's identity due to the sensitive nature of my work
Meet Ania
How Ania went from being anxiously attached to situation ships to finding her peace
I feel like I really gained myself back through this program, and am so incredibly glad I took the leap and signed up. It’s given me peace again.
"When I started the Anxious to Secure in Love group program I was on the heels of a major let down of a situation ship, reeling with anxiety, confused about where I had gone wrong, and with very little self compassion. I was easily swooned by empty words, and attention, and feeling like I would really take anything I could get for attention. From friends and love interests.
Now after the program, I feel so grounded in myself, who I am, and how normal my desires really are. I feel comfortable asking questions while getting to know someone without the anxiety or emotional charge, I don’t feel the need to explain myself or send long messages conveying my hurt or frustrations, and it feels soooo much easier to walk away from a situation that isn’t good for me. I also just feel more grounded in my day to day life, which has impacted how I make decisions overall. I don’t feel panicked or anxious like I was feeling a lot last year. I also don’t feel pushy about getting my needs met, I feel more comfortable communicating them, and asking if that’s something they can do. Instead of just leaving it alone and hoping for the best, I can ask and find out and decide what I will do with that information.
I really stumbled upon Candice's program and wasn’t sure what to expect, I was skeptical. I feel like I really gained myself back through it, and am so incredibly glad I took the leap and signed up. It’s given me peace again."
- Ania
The image is not an accurate photo of my client to protect my client's identity due to the sensitive nature of my work
Meet Nancy
How Nancy went from being anxiously attached to a situationship to finding her Strength & self-love
I found Candice's approach so refreshing and her personal story adds weight to all her amazing work.
"I discovered Candice on Instagram and when I found her account I felt like she was speaking directly to me. Everything I battled with on a daily basis, my behaviours, my thought patterns, my triggers Candice knew about them all! I had never heard of attachment styles before but suddenly the way I had been experiencing relationships and the partners I had been drawn to began to make sense. I knew I wanted to break the exhausting pattern I was in and to start taking control of my life and my emotions, I just had to join the Anxious to Secure in Love course and to see if it would help me.
The course itself was amazing, I learnt so much about myself and about how to manage and heal my attachment style as well as self love and other things like tapping for anxiety. I also met some amazing women and we have continued to keep in touch and support each other long after the course has finished.
I had two one on one sessions with Candice as well which were brilliant and we did a bit more of a deep dive into my situation and how I could help myself.
I found Candice's approach so refreshing and her personal story adds weight to all her amazing work. As she has been through what I have been battling with she understands exactly where you're coming from and she is a living example of how to get to the other side and live your best life.
I couldn't recommend her more!"
- Nancy
The image is not an accurate photo of my client to protect my client's identity due to the sensitive nature of my work
Meet Katie
How katie went from people pleasing & blocked to clear in her business & confident in her value
Candice worked with me to shine a light on all the emotions I shut off from the old version of me. She allowed me to vent and just get shit out and ALWAYS asked the right questions to help me dig deeper or see it in a new light, a different perspective.
"When I first came to Candice I was looking to find clarity in my business and remove limiting beliefs that I knew were holding me back. I didn't feel confident in myself so struggled to show the world what I really had to offer. Marketing was always a problem area and breaking content down into manageable pieces felt almost impossible some days.
During my time with Candice, I found emotions within me that I had been avoiding for years and basically dragging along with me in everything I did. Candice worked with me to shine a light on all the emotions I shut off from the old version of me. She allowed me to vent and just get shit out and ALWAYS asked the right questions to help me dig deeper or see it in a new light, a different perspective.
I think my biggest takeaway was realising I get to choose, not just in my everyday life, which I felt I could do pretty well anyway but in my business, in the way of I get to decide how long a program runs for, that there can be a break within the program if that's what I want. I was just so stuck in the "I should" "others do this and that" and "everyone does 3 or 6-month programmes, so I should too" and it's ALL BULLSHIT!
We are our own creators of our own realities and I needed reminding of that.
I felt like I went through about 3 or 4 shifts and changes through our 3 months together and just before our last session I had a massive realisation that the business I was trying to run was all on the old programming, the old way of thinking, the old energy and I was just trying to fill in the gaps time and time again, instead of building a strong foundation. I am now on an entirely new journey that feels freeing, open and truly exciting. I feel completely in alignment with my authentic self moving forwards.
I have left not just feeling clear in my business but with an entirely different outlook and path going forwards, I am much more confident in what I do and I don't doubt my offerings at all anymore. And I have learnt how to break the content down into manageable pieces which feels like a massive weight has been lifted.
If you are looking for someone who will get you thinking about how you look and think about yourself and those around you then Candice is your gal. I found she had the right balance of compassion and kick up the arse that I really needed.
Thank you again beautiful lady for such a transformative 3 months"
- Katie
Katie was interviewed about her experience on my F*CK TRAUMA podcast
Meet Gabby
How Gabby went from being anxiously attached to a situationship accepting Sh*T & In 6weeks working with me, confidently walked away & bloCKed them
She made me feel extremely comfortable like I was speaking with a best friend and she can also relate to what you’re going through which is a big yes for me!
"Before I met Candice I was suffering with major anxious attachment issues, I was extremely anxious while dating and in other situations.
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I still have a long way to go but she was able to point me in the right direction of how to handle these issues with different techniques.
I saw results in a way where I found myself thinking a lot more on why I’m allowing bad behaviours and why I’m allowing someone to treat me badly I changed my mindset around these things and feel a lot stronger.
If you’re unsure about working Candice I highly recommend her. She made me feel extremely comfortable like I was speaking with a best friend and she can also relate to what you’re going through which is a big yes for me!"
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- Gabby
The image is not an accurate photo of my client to protect my client's identity due to the sensitive nature of my work
Meet Amy
How Amy learnt to navigate dating after divorce as an anxious attachment
She helped me learn more about myself and my true desires in a relationship and how those realistically compared to what I was allowing in my current relationship.
"I came across Candice on Instagram after finding her content extremely relatable to what I was going through. I just recently started dating again after a divorce, and wasn't aware what I was experiencing was anxious attachment.
I decided to hire Candice for one on one coaching and immediately felt I was in safe place, and that she understood exactly what I was going through.
She helped me learn more about myself and my true desires in a relationship and how those realistically compared to what I was allowing in my current relationship.
She helped me tap into my inner child and why I was feeling why I was feeling in relationships. I am truly grateful for having the opportunity to work with her."
- Amy
The image is not an accurate photo of my client to protect my client's identity due to the sensitive nature of my work
Meet SABAH
How Sabah went from deep self-doubt to confident, clear & calm after Narcissistic abuse from a parent in just 6 weeks
After working with Candice, I feel I have awareness & I feel more confident, more clear headed & calmer about this, in a better mood, seeing how little things can make an impact.
"Before working with Candice, I had a lot of issues dealing with a narcissistic parent that let me doubt a lot of my abilities.
After working with Candice, I feel I have awareness & I feel more confident, more clear headed & calmer about this, in a better mood, seeing how little things can make an impact. It has been an opening & great experience.
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If you are considering working with Candice, I would say try it, there is nothing you would lose, only gain, & Candice, is a person who helps & guides you through experience & is patient & goes at your pace & she does establish a connection & makes it easy to talk to you & gives you the outsider view, & she practices what she preaches, If you ask me would I do it again, I would without hesitation"
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- Sabah
The image is not an accurate photo of my client to protect my client's identity due to the sensitive nature of my work